Forgiveness & Love

      Words have tremendous power, and play a great roll in how we perceive reality. With the ability to act as filters, words can alter the way we view the world and the people around us. Outrageous, wild, & irresponsible are words other’s might use to describe my up-bringing.  I, however lean more towards the word unorthodox. It was far from traditional and at times even unacceptable.

There was a time when my choice in words carried much harshness, inflicting pain onto myself and others. It is only recently that I have grown and gained the know how to revise my words that alter my perception in order to have a more positive outlook on my reality. Through this growth came a great deal of love & forgiveness towards those I once blamed for the experiences that my upbringing gave me. I now accept my reality and possess the ability to see the good through what was once a clouded negative.

With this new perception I have decided to share a letter of forgiveness, love and healing to one of the most influential women in my life. Through her mistakes, she has grown to become a strong and inspiring woman to which I couldn’t be more proud to call her Mom. I share this personal piece of my life with faith that it will bring hope, and peace of mind to those who may struggle to forgive. I want others to know that with patience, faith, and diligence it is possible to find forgiveness in your heart and heal through the love gained through that forgiveness ❤

To the Regretful Mother,

 

I know you are filled with regret and consumed by guilt. You made mistakes and your choices forever changed the lives of your children. The coulda, shoulda, woulda’s kill you inside. You try to hide it, but we know you well enough to see the truth. We see it in your eyes and your actions. You desire to make up for the wrong, but you cannot change what has already happened.

As a youth, I never would have imagined that I would get to this point in my life. I was so consumed by anger and resentment that I was blinded to the possibilities. You were my mother. Your job was to love, guide and protect me, and in my mind, you had failed. I know it hurts to hear that but it’s truly how I FELT. As time went by, I continued to blame you for everything that was wrong in my life. I was stubborn, and spent a good portion of my time trying to prove to you that I was better. I was better than you and better than the way we were raised. I was desperate to be successful, just so I could throw it in your face, and in my moments of failure I did what I knew best. I made it your fault. The world had callused me, and I had become a cold and distant person. My words and actions amplified your guilt, causing you unnecessary pain.

 

For this I am sorry. I know I was young and dumb but I will not excuse my actions.

 

Brick by brick I helped build your tower of guilt, and brick by brick I’ll help dismantle it. I have grown, matured and developed a better understanding of our lives and have accepted our reality. With a more clear mind I am able to recognize my own faults, and now possess the ability to be forgiving of yours as well. You trusted your “family”, and you cannot be blamed for their actions.

 

I know that you did YOUR best.

 

The purpose of this letter is not to open old wounds or to remind you of your shortcomings, but rather to reach a healing process that will continue to bring great joy to our lives. You are a strong courageous woman who loves her children more than anything, and we have grown to become genuinely good people. You have done enough!!! You are enough!!!

 

So to the mother filled with regret, I say…… I LOVE YOU AND I FORGIVE YOU!! Let go of your guilt, let go of your regret, forgive yourself and live in the now!!!

 

With lots of love,

 

 

Your Desert Peach